Lukewarm, in-the-door-but-not-in-the-room, dipped and dripped Christian. Saved-ish.
I was baptized right after I was born. I refer to this as being "dipped and dripped" into Christianity. I did not know anything about Christ or faith. I barely knew anything about anything - just feed, sleep and make a mess in my diapers. But, I was a Christian because I had been baptized. It doesn't make sense to me as an adult. Salvation means more than water drops.
Growing up, faith was always there, in the background. I didn't discuss faith often except to give my religion teachers trouble. I would ask the unanswerable questions. I would tease and provoke as much as I could get away with. Not much exploration through high school and college, just bumping along with faith in the background. I don't think I cracked open the Bible for a truthful desire to study scripture until I was in my thirties.
In my thirties I accepted Christ as my savior and began the journey. Accepting Christ as my savior was a big step for me, not Him. He accepts people all of the time who will turn to Him. Anyway, I lived life after that. My life with Christ included semi-regular church attendance, Bible reading and small group study. This has been good- for me and my family, in our middle-class, midwest and middling faith bubble. The bubble covered me and mine. Everyone else... I kind of had a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to talking about Jesus. I was more than happy to talk about Christ with other Christians, but reaching out to others? High-risk in my mind. What would I say if someone asked questions that I did not understand or did not have an answer to? What if they challenged me about my faith and I thought that their answers were plausible, even convincing enough that my faith was shaken? No thank you. I'll just stay in the bubble.
Being in the bubble. Thinking that I am baptized and done. Quietly talking about Christ in safe places with safe people. This is me being "Saved-ish."
I used to believe that through baptism and acceptance of Jesus Christ as my savior, I had crossed the threshold of salvation. I thought, "I am going to heaven because I am "saved." That's all that I had to do. Even if I just got through the door of heaven, I was not going to be one of those left outside for eternity in the "wailing and gnashing of teeth" crowd. Baptism, faith and declaration of Jesus as my personal savior were maybe 2 parts faith and one part insurance policy. Saved-ish.
It's not really true though- Faith is judged in the end by Jesus Christ. God will not accept the lukewarm. (Revelation 3:16) God wants more than Saved-ish.
I believe saved-ish is the condition of not being all-in for Christ. Asking, thinking, praying, studying God's Word about the questions and challenges in my faith walk are a part of the journey for me as I go all-in for Jesus Christ. I share what I am learning along the way because I was told to. I share what I am discovering with the hope that it will open new conversations for Christ-followers like me, on the path to a closer relationship with Christ and a heart for God that is all-in.